It’s the end of week two, and I find myself at a loss for words.
I flit between wanting to be here forever, and wanting to be home. Between thinking I’ve found the perfect path, to wondering what the hell I’m doing here.
Our little group has become a family, and the Ashram community an extended circle of friends. We’re learning so much, from such amazing teachers. The Swamis are these bundles of intense light, joy and wisdom – and we get to tap into that on a daily basis. The Swami who teaches our Raja Yoga class (yoga philosophy) tells us hilarious illustrative stories when we don’t quite grasp what she’s trying to teach us, and she even had us doing skits this week. Our group may or may not have done one on our attachment (and subsequent non-attachment) to guacamole. Just saying.
It’s been an emotional week. I did my first ever Sarvangasana (shoulder stand) last Monday, and proceeded to have an emotional break, and then a migraine the following day. So much transformational energy and shedding of the things that no longer serve us – remember how I said that I thought I had shed so much already in the past few years, and my journey across the country last summer? Yeah – apparently there’s still more left to let go of.
One of the things that keeps my feet under me is the alignment of my goals for Rebel Yogi and the things that we’re learning here. It’s not just the asanas. In fact, it’s so NOT about the asanas at all. It’s all about loving ourselves, taking care of this body we’re gallivanting about in, so that we can better go out into the world to kick ass, take names and shake up the status quo.
Thanks for following along, for being a part of this continuing transformation. I’m still not sure what life or Rebel Yogi will look like when I get back, but I have this feeling that we’re in for an amazing ride.
Like last week, I’ll leave you with the daily reflections from this past week:
You must eat to have enough energy to serve others. Even the practice of meditation is not done just for your own peace but is done because with a peaceful mind you can go out into the world and serve well.” –Yoga Sutras 1.15, commentary by Sri Swami Satchidananda
“Did you know that the heart feeds itself freshly oxygenated blood first, so it can then feed the rest of the body?”
“I have no time to be in a hurry.”
“Your body is a product of the past; your mind spins between the past, present and future; but the breath is always in the moment.”
“1000 steps after dinner puts the pharmaceutical companies out of business.”
“Nature will not let us stay in any one place for too long. She will let us stay just long enough to gather the experience necessary to the unfolding and advancement of the soul. This is a wise provision, for should we stay there too long, we would become too set, too rigid, too inflexible. Nature demands change in order that we may advance.” –Ernest Holmes
Ever yours in yoga.
PS: I’m keeping my funding campaign going until I’m done with the program. So if you forgot, are a procrastinator, or didn’t realize that I’m doing that – check it! I really, truly, from the bottom of my heart appreciate all the support so far.